If you’re a metalhead, Christmas is far too happy of a holiday for you. All this “Christmas cheer,” “peace on earth,” and “good will towards men” are incredibly offensive to someone with deeply-held nihilistic beliefs like you. That said, Christmas isn’t going anywhere (despite some government officials’ best efforts this year), so us metalheads may as well make the most of the situation. Like the old saying goes, when life gives you lemons, you spray the juice into your eyes, devour the rest like some kind of crazed lunatic, and scream in pain from the lemon juice in your eyes because that’s way more brutal than some pansy-ass lemonade. This is a terrible intro. Here’s four ways to make Christmas more metal: 1. Watch Christmas Horror Movies Although the Christmas movie genre is largely populated by children’s movies, romantic comedies, and Will Ferrell acting the same way he does in […]
6 Reasons Metalheads Don’t Belong in College
“Ian, are you saying metalheads are too dumb to go to college?” No. I’m not saying metalheads aren’t smart enough to go to college or even that they shouldn’t go to college. I went to college myself. And I, like everyone else who has attended college know that it is much more than simply a place to learn (by the word “college,” I mean a four-year university, usually residential). There are plenty of ways and places to learn that are not college, many of which are less insanely expensive and can grant their students the same results if they have the aptitude and work ethic. Yet college enrollment is still incredibly widespread. Why is this? There are several reasons, but the reason I’m going to cover for this article is cultural. College is a cultural institution just as much as it is an academic institution. Metalheads are their own culture, […]