Show me what you got!

I recently saw a cover band called Left to Die. I normally don’t see the appeal of cover bands, but I gave this band a go for two reasons: However, ordinarily I’m not interested in going to a cover band concert. The cover band is not the real thing, so why would they try to be? Why not be your own real thing? If I’m going to go to your band’s concert, I want to hear your band’s music. Like in that Rick and Morty episode, show me what you got. I don’t care if it sucks. I don’t care if it’s blatantly derivative of other, more successful bands. As long as you’re actually making the attempt to write and play your own music, I will be far more interested in seeing your band play than if you were a carbon copy of my favorite band (who hardly ever tours North America, so I’m […]

Guitar Legend Alexi Laiho Has Passed Away

I checked a popular metal news blog today while at work to learn that Alexi “Wildchild” Laiho, best known as the frontman and lead guitarist for the Finnish melodic death metal band Children of Bodom, has recently passed away. My heart fell into my ass upon reading this. Children of Bodom has been one of my favorite bands for almost a decade now. They were one of the first bands to introduce me to the Nordic melodic death metal scene as well as death metal as a whole. Even after going down that rabbit hole and discovering countless other bands, they still hold up, largely thanks to Laiho’s absolutely shredding guitar work. He was truly one of the best, most technical guitarists the music scene has encountered and has inspired countless wannabe rockers to pick up a guitar. I never had a chance to see him live. The one time […]

4 Ways to Make Christmas More Metal

If you’re a metalhead, Christmas is far too happy of a holiday for you. All this “Christmas cheer,” “peace on earth,” and “good will towards men” are incredibly offensive to someone with deeply-held nihilistic beliefs like you. That said, Christmas isn’t going anywhere (despite some government officials’ best efforts this year), so us metalheads may as well make the most of the situation. Like the old saying goes, when life gives you lemons, you spray the juice into your eyes, devour the rest like some kind of crazed lunatic, and scream in pain from the lemon juice in your eyes because that’s way more brutal than some pansy-ass lemonade. This is a terrible intro. Here’s four ways to make Christmas more metal: 1. Watch Christmas Horror Movies Although the Christmas movie genre is largely populated by children’s movies, romantic comedies, and Will Ferrell acting the same way he does in […]

6 Reasons Metalheads Don’t Belong in College

“Ian, are you saying metalheads are too dumb to go to college?” No. I’m not saying metalheads aren’t smart enough to go to college or even that they shouldn’t go to college. I went to college myself. And I, like everyone else who has attended college know that it is much more than simply a place to learn (by the word “college,” I mean a four-year university, usually residential). There are plenty of ways and places to learn that are not college, many of which are less insanely expensive and can grant their students the same results if they have the aptitude and work ethic. Yet college enrollment is still incredibly widespread. Why is this? There are several reasons, but the reason I’m going to cover for this article is cultural. College is a cultural institution just as much as it is an academic institution. Metalheads are their own culture, […]