I recently saw a cover band called Left to Die. I normally don’t see the appeal of cover bands, but I gave this band a go for two reasons:
- They were a cover band of the legendary death metal band Death, whom I will never be able to see live as they have been broken up for over 20 years.
- The members consisted of some of the former members of Death as well as death metal musicians who were contemporaries to Death, not just a bunch of musicians who happen to also like Death’s music.
However, ordinarily I’m not interested in going to a cover band concert. The cover band is not the real thing, so why would they try to be? Why not be your own real thing? If I’m going to go to your band’s concert, I want to hear your band’s music. Like in that Rick and Morty episode, show me what you got. I don’t care if it sucks. I don’t care if it’s blatantly derivative of other, more successful bands. As long as you’re actually making the attempt to write and play your own music, I will be far more interested in seeing your band play than if you were a carbon copy of my favorite band (who hardly ever tours North America, so I’m not just saying that).
If a cover band is able to closely replicate the real thing, their few advantages are as follows: tickets to see them are cheaper than the real thing, the real thing broke up, the real thing had a terrible lineup change(s) which made them practically a cover band of themselves anyway, and/or the real thing released a crappy album(s) that they insist on playing live instead of their good stuff.
What do all these advantages have in common?
They only apply to live music. Tickets to see your cover band may be cheaper than the real thing, but if both bands’ albums are on Spotify and I’m paying the same subscription fee regardless, guess which album I’m going to pick?
Of course, even if I were to listen to your cover band’s album on Spotify, you’d probably only get a couple cents for it. That’s why merch sales are the big revenue generator for metal bands, right?
But why would I buy a cover band’s merch? I buy band merch because I am a fan of the band’s music. Your cover band also plays the real band’s music. Just like like the Spotify question above, if I have the option to purchase the real band’s t-shirt or your cover band’s t-shirt and they both cost $25, guess which shirt I’m going to buy?
I’ll grant that if your cover band lives in my city and the real band lives elsewhere that your t-shirts probably won’t cost the same. I don’t even want to think about how much I paid in shipping for a bunch of band patches I just ordered.
“But Ian, I don’t play music for the money…”
I know that. You’re in a System of a Down cover band.
“…I play music because I love it!”
Yeah, so did System of a Down. That’s why they wrote them. And for some reason, enough people liked them to the point where it made them money. I can’t promise you’ll be able to replicate their success, you almost certainly won’t, but don’t tell me you love music without writing any of your own. If you can still say you love music after arguing with your bandmates for hours on end about how long your self-fellating solo should be while your drummer incessantly bangs on his set, then I’ll believe you.
“But I don’t want to write my own music because I hate music theory.”
Everyone hates music theory. The people who say they don’t are liars. But they do it anyway because they’re the ones who really love music.
“Yeah, but I really hate music theory.”
Then write war metal.
“But I hate war metal!”
Everyone hates war metal. The people who say they don’t are liars. We all just pretend to like it because of the cool album art. See the above paragraph on merch sales.
“Okay, Ian. If you’re such a music business genius, how well will tickets to my band sell as an original band versus a System of a Down cover band?”
I’d say it’s optimistic to expect either band to sell any tickets at all. But which band is more likely to get booked at local showcase gigs? Which band would a local venue rather book as a local opener for a touring band? Which band would a touring band ask to open for them? Which band is more likely to get booked to play at weddings?
Okay, the System of a Down cover band might still have the edge in that last one.
Otherwise, your cover band’s chances of upward mobility are limited and depressing. Your original band’s chances of upward mobility are limitless and depressing. And limiting your depression is not very brutal. Play your own stuff. Show me what you got.
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